Cop Car Coffee

Merry Christmas Podbeanski's. 
Welcome to the Cop Car Coffee Podcast, where Duff and DDT prove that just because you have access to a mic, it doesn’t mean you should actually use it.
Join us two guys this week,  who’ve spent more time in drive-thrus than actually prepping for Christmas, as we moan about the soul-crushing cost of the holidays and the futility of buying gifts for adult kids who only want cash anyway. We’ll also discuss the local speed cameras—which we’re pretty sure are just overpriced Festivus poles for the rest of us.
It’s mostly caffeine-fueled nonsense. Lower your expectations; we already did.  Merry Christmas, and have a happy New Year!
Commander Duff and DDT.

☕ Cop Car Coffee: Where We Solve Nothing and Eat Everything!
Sorry, but welcome to Cop Car Coffee, the podcast where we prove we're not experts, but we are hungry. We'll try to solve the federal budget and explain why hockey is bankrupting us, but mostly, we'll be arguing about who gets the last bite of the epic food from Cosmos Greek food in Nepean! Forget serious debate; we prefer to reminisce about late nights at Chuck's Roadhouse in Kanata and which traffic apps are currently infuriating us most.
From cheap Mexican Food hacks to the amazing (and financially terrifying) deals found on Expedia travel, we’re covering the truly important things in life. If you like your conversations as chaotic as rush hour—and about as useful—this is the ride for you. Subscribe now, before we get fired.

Welcome to the podcast that proves you can be slightly less than mediocre and still have a microphone. Join your hosts, two experts in failing up, as they embrace life's beautifully awkward stumbles.
This week, the high-stakes world of Canadian fast food comes to a head as they chronicle their latest Tim Hortons parking lot struggles and victories. Prepare for a deep dive into the elusive art of the drive-thru merge and more. Then, DDT takes the lead on investigating the municipal mystery of the speed camera, is it a vanishing act? Then, they’ll bring you back to reality with a heartfelt, possibly painful, tribute to Our beloved Blue Jays and the ritualistic emotional turmoil they inspire. Infact, Duff still can't get into hockey since game 7 of the world series.
Winter is coming! (And then leaving, then coming back). They’ll unpack the glorious chaos of the first blast of winter in Ottawa.
For your domestic delight, Duff shares his Recipe of the Week, a Mumbi-keeper so good it’s probably a mistake it works. Plus, the boys crown a near champion in their ongoing quest for local coffee shop excellence and deliver their highly questionable streaming picks of the week. Tune in for the oops, stay for the oof.
And, o ya, you've got to tune in to our Youtube channel to see DDTs hair alone...
Sorry, you've found Cop Car Coffee.

Happy Thanksgiving, Canada! Welcome back to CCC, the longest-running (and least popular) podcast from the south part of Kanata South. We’re coming to you this week fully rested and slightly chaotic after a memorable cottage weekend at JBs.
This episode is packed with seasonal goodness, starting with the long-awaited and oft-postponed trip to JB's cottage. We finally made it, and the highlight was undoubtedly an amazing barge around JB's lake. Forget speedboats; JB’s pontoon barge provided the perfect backdrop for cold drinks, bad jokes, and pure, uninterrupted cottage bliss as the fall colours began to pop.
Of course, a cottage trip means great food! We recap the culinary triumphs, from amazing sausages that DDT took too many of when he should of just been sampling,  to JBs favorite: the parasitic wild boar meat.  DDT fell asleep, but that didn't stop the party.  We also dive into the unexpected failure of the weekend: the disk golf that never happened. We packed the disks, but between the barge, the eating, and a shared enthusiasm for doing absolutely nothing, the game remained sadly unplayed—a perfect metaphor for life's simpler priorities. When we weren't eating, we were satisfying our collective guilty pleasure by watching truly awful, straight-to-DVD movies otherwize known as our Lanark Pics.  We break down the most baffling special effects and nonsensical plots.
Bringing us back to reality, we dissect the glorious insanity of October baseball and our Blue Jays! We’re on the edge of our seats for the playoffs, making our (likely doomed) World Series predictions and arguing over the wildcard matchups. This leads us to a deeper discussion on a favorite theme: the truth that more money doesn't matter when stacked against the simple joy of a cottage weekend and good company.
Finally, we transition from philosophy to the practical with a guaranteed crowd-pleaser: a great pasta sauce recipe for the fall. This hearty, flavourful sauce—featuring slow-roasted garlic and a secret ingredient—is the perfect addition to your kitchen lineup for the chilly months ahead.
All this and more from Kanata South's longest running and least popular podcast. Thanks for sticking with us! Have a wonderful, safe, and Happy Thanksgiving, Canada!

Hello and welcome back to Cop Car Coffee, the podcast where two guys who probably shouldn't be allowed to operate heavy machinery (let alone a microphone) stumble through the week's topics.
In Season 6, Episode 2, we prove once again that we are experts in absolutely nothing. We'll try to sound somewhat intelligent while discussing the latest news from The House of Guinness and debating the fairness (or pure evil) of speed cameras. If you're looking for financial advice, you've come to the wrong place, but we'll still ramble about silver prices (purely for entertainment, because if we knew how to invest, we wouldn't be doing this podcast).  But DDT does want to retire soon, can you buy his silver?
Get ready for Duff's recipe of the week, which will probably involve a deep fryer and questionable life choices, and stick around for JB's better-late-than-never cottage invite, which we're pretty sure is a practical joke disguised as an olive branch. We'll also briefly discuss the emotional roller coaster that is the Blue Jays postseason (before we cry into our mugs), check in on the mysterious Black Rabbit, and debut our thrilling new segment: The Weekly Coffee Report – because nothing says 'gripping content' like two tired guys talking about their caffeine intake. Finally, we'll give you our completely unqualified thoughts on investing (again, please don't sue us, this is for entertainment purposes only).
So grab a subpar cup of joe, try to ignore the sirens, and buckle up for another episode of low-brow commentary and high-octane self-deprecation. You've been warned.

 
Welcome back, you beautiful, misguided souls. It’s hard to believe we’ve conned our way into a sixth season of Cop Car Coffee. We're not sure if that says more about our sheer tenacity or your alarmingly low standards for entertainment, but here we are. Apologies in advance for the time you're about to lose.
This week, we're diving head-first into a summer that, frankly, we're not sure ever happened. We'll kick things off with the most dramatic and poorly-documented event of the past few months: Duff's triumphant trip to France. He’s going to tell us how it was a magical, life-altering experience, while we all know the reality was probably a lot of confused gesturing and accidentally offending local boulangerie owners.
We'll then get down to the truly important stuff: the Almonte Fair and our pathetic gardening results. Our green thumbs have officially gone black, and our "bountiful harvest" looks more like a post-apocalyptic wasteland of half-eaten tomatoes and wilted basil.
In a rare moment of local sports talk, we'll try to figure out if the Jays' playoff push is a genuine Cinderella story or just another elaborate prank on our collective emotions. We'll also ask the age-old question: where did the summer go? We suspect it ran away after listening to our last episode.
Finally, we'll take on some of life's most pressing questions. Is there a best coffee in Ottawa? (Probably not, since we just drink the stuff that comes out of a single-serve pod). We'll also pay homage to the legendary Derringers cover band, whose musical stylings are as exceptional as our opinions are questionable as our. And in a segment we're calling "Home Runs as Foul Play," we’ll be discussing those rare moments when you achieve something great, but only because you've been a total jerk to get there...not really, but did you see the nonsense with the Philly Karen?
So, pour yourself a lukewarm cup of disappointment and settle in. You've been warned.

Oops you’ve done it again. You’ve successfully squandered another perfectly good summer hour with us here at Cop Car Coffee, and for that, we can only offer our sincerest apologies. This week, we plunge headfirst into a pool of conversational ineptitude, splashing around in a variety of topics we have no business discussing.
Our Lanark movie pick, The Gambler, starring Mark Wahlberg, leads us down a rabbit hole of poor life choices, both on-screen and off. We'll also regale you with tales of our disastrous gardening attempts, proving that our green thumbs are, in fact, simply soiled. DDT, in a fit of what can only be described as a self-inflicted 'make work' project, has managed to spend an exorbitant amount of money to fix something that wasn't broken. We dive deep into the thrilling world of costly, unnecessary renovations.
From the sun-drenched beaches we've never visited to the charming streets of France we've only seen on TV, we offer up our entirely unqualified travel advice. We then pivot to a topic near and dear to our hearts: the truly abysmal drivers of Ottawa, and how they single-handedly prove that humanity is a lost cause.
We try to tackle the heavy stuff—wildfires and the ever-present specter of government overreach—but quickly get sidetracked by the important questions, like "What's the deal with White Lotus Season 3?" We also solve the global financial crisis by concluding that money, in a shocking twist, doesn't matter. Finally, we wrap up with a collection of recipes guaranteed to disappoint your family and friends.
So, buckle up for this injurious waste of your time. We promise nothing, and we'll still under-deliver. Thanks for listening.

We would tell you what we were planning to chat about this week, but it would be a complete waste of time.  Turns out, DDT got Duff sidetracked on multiple topics, which, although is nothing new, it took the show off the rails.
Bedankt tobthe dutch! Our listener is apparently form the Netherlands based on the latest metrics, but that's a story well covered this week. Duff goes live on Ontario Today when he couldn't resist calling in on the topic "When does revenge go too far?"
A week wouldn't be complete without Costco misadventures, apologies, alternative audio plans, and Canada Soccer...are we really as good as we think?
It's not too late after reading this intro to find yourself some alternative audio for the next 72 minutes, otherwize you're in for an injurious waste of time!
Commander Duff
 

As the dog days of summer approach, Commander Duff and DDT ramble aimlessly about everything from Costco's Korean pork jerky to the singularity. We pretend to be experts on topics we clearly know nothing about, like artificial intelligence and libertarianism. Our attempts at humor fall flatter than a pancake run over by a steamroller. We spend an inordinate amount of time discussing haircuts and complaining about the cost of everything. Our political "insights" are about as deep as a puddle in the Sahara. In the end, we accomplish nothing except wasting an hour of our listeners' lives that they'll never get back. You're welcome, world!
Sorry...
We dive deep into the pressing issue of  jerky, because apparently, that's what the world needs right now. Commander Duff enlightens us on the intricacies of pool liner installation, a skill sure to come in handy during the apocalypse. We ponder the future of AI, clearly demonstrating our vast expertise gained from watching "The Terminator" once in 1995.
Sorry...
Our groundbreaking political analysis includes gems like "people vote emotionally," shocking absolutely no one. We solve all of Canada's problems by suggesting we replace elected officials with the "best people," as determined by a committee of magic 8-balls and fortune cookies.
Sorry...
Finally, we tackle the age-old question: "How many haircuts per year is too many?" The answer, like our podcast, remains frustratingly elusive.

You've waited long enough and I couldn't stand DDT bugging me to post the cast.  He doesn't understand how people have to work and have busy lives, but I couldn't take it any longer, so here...sorry.
You are in for a treat however, we had a special guest on the show and no other than the originator of the Injurious Waste of Time slogan of our show.  Yes, the litigating alligator of a brother of a DDT live in studio.  Leaf fan supreme and general nice guy.  Other than DDT stories, we might have touched on the Burbon Embargo, NHL Playoffs, YOU season 5 (hum...just like US), DDTs abysmal lack of pool maintenance, chores and so much more.
We bring you Cop Car Coffee, an Injurious Waste of Time.