Season 5 Episode 12

Greetings, fellow auditory adventurers, and welcome back to the podcast that boldly goes nowhere you particularly asked it to. First off, on behalf of the entire (one-person) production team, Duff and DDT extend our sincerest apologies for once again occupying a solid hour and a half of your precious existence. We know you could have been folding laundry, learning a new language, polishing your floors like Dean or finally figuring out how to properly load the dishwasher. Instead, you're here. With us. So, let's make the most of this shared temporal anomaly, shall we?

This week, we bravely navigated the treacherous waters of the Canadian federal election, dissecting the platforms with the precision of a toddler wielding a butter knife. We may not have provided any actual clarity, but we certainly offered some opinions, loosely based on things we vaguely remember reading. Prepare for nuanced political analysis that peaks with the phrase, "Well, someone's got to win."

Seeking refuge from the harsh realities of democracy, we then dive headfirst into the shimmering oasis of streaming recommendations. From gritty Nordic noir that will make you question all your life choices to lighthearted sitcoms that will temporarily make you forget them, we've curated a viewing list as eclectic and potentially disappointing as your last online shopping spree...or did we get to that today? Consider it your sonic tasting menu for the visual buffet.

For those of you who inexplicably care about bouncing balls and squeaky sneakers, we offered a brief, possibly inaccurate, recap of March Madness. Duff's CCC entry into the pools is still in the hunt.  We'll pretend we know the teams and players, and you can pretend you're impressed. The key takeaway? This is the only basketball worth watching.

In more practical news, we bravely ventured into the hallowed aisles of bulk-buying paradise to bring you a crucial Costco savings update. Prepare for thrilling revelations about discounted mayonnaise and the eternal dilemma of whether or not you really need a 50-pound bag of frozen peas. Our financial forecasting is slightly less reliable than a weather report from Winston (DDTs dog)

Speaking of finances, we dipped our toes into the exhilarating, often terrifying, world of stocks. Our investment advice should be taken with a grain of salt the size of a small car. Remember, buy low, sell high, and maybe consult an actual professional before betting your rent money on that artisanal pickle company...or anything on any market this week.

For our local listeners, we lamented the ongoing saga of the NHL Ottawa Senators hockey team. Hope springs eternal, much like the weeds in your neglected garden. We offered some armchair coaching that is guaranteed to be ignored by everyone, especially the actual team.

We also delved into the thrilling realm of the Ontario Gaming Corporation, pondering the existential questions raised by lottery tickets and the siren call of instant riches. Spoiler alert: the odds are probably not in your favour, but hey, someone's gotta fund those public services, right?

Then there was the segment on garage cleanups. Prepare for tales of dusty relics, forgotten treasures, and the overwhelming urge to simply set the whole thing on fire and start over. Our organizational tips range from "buy more bins" to "just accept the chaos."

Finally, we may or may not have discussed Hotel Jefe. Honestly, it was probably a fever dream at this point in the recording. If we did, we likely offered some highly subjective opinions on the thread count of the sheets and the quality of the complimentary breakfast. Which according to our call, leaves one thinking this is a must visit when in Vegas!

So there you have it, a linguistic summary as longwinded and pointless as the Ninety minutes of your listening life, irretrievably gone. We hope you were at least mildly amused, slightly informed, or perhaps just successfully distracted from your responsibilities. Until next time, may your streaming queues be ever-expanding, your Costco samples plentiful, and your garage forever… well, a garage.